Tazer Gun

[charlesebrownjr]

I really think at POG Xl, we need to have a deminstration of this device by a fellower Pogger!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Just try reading this without laughing till you cry!!!

Pocket Tazer Stun Gun, a great gift for the wife.
A guy who purchased his lovely wife a pocket Tazer for their anniversary submitted this:

Last weekend I saw something at Larry's Pistol & Pawn Shop that sparked my interest. The occasion was our 15th anniversary and I was looking for a little something extra for my wife Julie. What I came across was a 100,000-volt, pocket/purse-sized Tazer.

The effects of the Tazer were supposed to be short lived, with no long term adverse affect on your assailant, allowing her adequate time to retreat to safety...??

WAY TOO COOL! Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home... I loaded two AAA batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button. Nothing! I was disappointed. I learned, however, that if I pushed the button and pressed it against a metal surface at the same time, I'd get the blue arc of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs.

AWESOME!!! Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to Julie what that burn spot is on the face of her microwave.

Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it couldn't be all that bad with only two AAA batteries, right?

There I sat in my recliner, my cat Gracie looking on intently (trusting little soul) while I was reading the directions and thinking that I really needed to try this thing out on a flesh & blood moving target.

I must admit I thought about zapping Gracie (for a fraction of a second) and then thought better of it. She is such a sweet cat. But, if I was going to give this thing to my wife to protect herself against a mugger, I did want some assurance that it would work as advertised.

Am I wrong?

So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my reading glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, and Tazer in another.

The directions said that:
a one-second burst would shock and disorient your assailant;

a two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms and a major loss of bodily control; and

a three-second burst would purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of water.

Any burst longer than three seconds would be wasting the batteries.
All the while I'm looking at this little device measuring about 5" long, less than 3/4 inch in circumference (loaded with two itsy, bitsy AAA batteries); pretty cute really, and thinking to myself, 'no possible way!'

What happened next is almost beyond description, but I'll do my best.

I'm sitting there alone, Gracie looking on with her head cocked to one side so as to say, 'Don't do it stupid,' reasoning that a one second burst from such a tiny lil ole thing couldn't hurt all that bad.. I decided to give myself a one second burst just for heck of it.

I touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button, and...

HOLY MOTHER OF GOD. WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION. WHAT THE... !!!

I'm pretty sure Hulk Hogan ran in through the side door, picked me up in the recliner, then body slammed us both on the carpet, over and over and over again. I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the fetal position, with tears in my eyes, body soaking wet, both nipples on fire, testicles nowhere to be found, with my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest position, and tingling in my legs! The cat was making meowing sounds I had never heard before, clinging to a picture frame hanging above the fireplace, obviously in an attempt to avoid getting slammed by my body flopping all over the living room..

Note:
If you ever feel compelled to 'mug' yourself with a Tazer,
one note of caution:

There is NO such thing as a one second burst when you zap yourself! You will not let go of that thing until it is dislodged from your hand by a violent thrashing about on the floor!
A three second burst would be considered conservative!

A minute or so later (I can't be sure, as time was a relative thing at that point), I collected my wits (what little I had left), sat up and surveyed the landscape.
• My bent reading glasses were on the mantel of the fireplace.
• The recliner was upside down and about 8 feet or so from where it originally was.
• My triceps, right thigh and both nipples were still twitching.
• My face felt like it had been shot up with Novocain, and my bottom lip weighed 88 lbs.
• I had no control over the drooling.
• Apparently I had crapped in my shorts, but was too numb to know for sure, and my sense of smell was gone.
• I saw a faint smoke cloud above my head, which I believe came from my hair.
I'm still looking for my testicles and I'm offering a significant reward for their safe return!

PS: My wife can't stop laughing about my experience, loved the gift and now regularly threatens me with it!

If you think education is difficult, try being stupid!!!!

[rahangman]

Is a carry permit required of a Taser?

[dreamchasers]

charlesebrownjr

You have won my vote!!!

Love this post! (It is a lot better than leaking air bags.)

Hector

[Gary Carmichael]

Only one way to try it and get a better "feel" for it. Try standing in a wet place. And I don't mean in the pool where you wet your pant's trying it out!

[charlesebrownjr]

I don't think any kind of permit is required.

[Kenneth Brewer]

After googling it, just the first few hits after the query: tazer permit.

"A Taser gun, an electroshock device that immobilizes a person by disrupting muscular control, is legal in most states. In some states it's treated in the same legal manner as possession of a handgun in which a permit may be required. Many states have placed legal restrictions on the use of Taser guns to regulate improper use. The Taser gun is used primarily by law enforcement personnel as a less lethal alternative to handguns."

"New Wisconsin law allows Tasers but with permit
Phoenix Business Journal"
Date: Thursday, December 8, 2011, 6:49am MST - Last Modified: Thursday, December 8, 2011, 7:52am MST
A new Wisconsin law allows residents there to carry Tasers made by Scottsdale-based Taser International if they have state permit to carry the stun guns.
Previously, Wisconsin prohibited individuals (other than police and military) from carrying Tasers. Ironically, the new law lets Wisconsiners openly carry guns without a permit. Click below for the report.
Read More at TwinCities.com
Related: Scottsdale"

Also found that they are legal, which I take to mean without requiring permits, in 43 states.

[charlesebrownjr]

Thanks Ken, did not know this.

[Ray Davis]

If you ever can make it out to the CES show (which is on this week in Las Vegas), the Tazer company is generally always there, giving demonstrations. There is a steady line of people to get tazed, after signing a large release form. But, they always have 3 guys around the "victim" and gently lower him/her to the ground. They also connect the clip to the clothes, rather than going directly to naked skin, however this always takes the person down, even without direct skin contact.

Fun to watch.

ray

[Reagan Sirmons]

Back to the basics: this was the funniest posting I have seen since being a member.... I printed it out and tried to read it to Betty but could not get through it for laughing so hard... thanks for the effort... what a deal!!
Pres