Oh Shoot !

[dalej]

Gary! What's going on down there at the Sugar Shack? Can't you work on your bus or something? Ask Peg what to do!

[sawdust_128]

After having dug to a depth of 10 feet last year, New York scientists found traces of copper wire dating back 100 years andcame to the conclusion, that their ancestors already had a telephone network more than 100 years ago.


Not to be outdone by the New Yorkers, in the weeks thatfollowed, in California an archaeologist dug to a depth of 20 feet, and shortly after, headlines in the LA Times newspaper read: 'California archaeologists have found traces of 200 year old copper wire and have concluded that their ancestors already had an advanced high-tech communications network a hundred years earlier than the New Yorkers.'

One week later, The Fayetteville Observer, a local newspaper in North Carolina, reported the following: After digging as deep as 30 feet in his back yard in Cumberland County, North Carolina, Bubba Graham, a self-taught archaeologist, reported that he found absolutely nothing. Bubba has therefore concluded that 300 years ago, NorthCarolina had already gone wireless.North Carolina has always been on the leading edge.....

[Gary & Peggy Stevens]

Gary! What's going on down there at the Sugar Shack? Can't you work on your bus or something? Ask Peg what to do!

Dale, I usually don't have to ask Peg what to do, SHE JUST TELLS ME

[Gary & Peggy Stevens]

Here are the top nine comments made by NBC sports commentators during the last Summer Olympics that they would like to take back:

Weightlifting commentator:'This is Gregoriava from Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning during her warm up and it was amazing.'


Dressage commentator:
'This is really a lovely horse and I speak from personal experience since I once mounted her mother.'


Paul Hamm, Gymnast:'I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father.'


Boxing Analyst:
'Sure there have been injuries, and even some deaths in boxing, but none of them really that serious.'


Softball announcer:
'If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same thing again.'


Basketball analyst:'He dribbles a lot and the opposition doesn't like it. In fact you can see it all over their faces.'


At the rowing medal ceremony:
'Ah, isn't that nice, the wife of the IOC president is hugging the Cox of the British crew.'


Soccer commentator:
'Julian Dicks is everywhere. It's like they've got eleven Dicks on the field.'


Tennis commentator:
'One of the reasons Andy is playing so well is that, before the final round, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them.. Oh my God, what have I just said?'


Gary S.

[Gary & Peggy Stevens]

SUCCESS:

At age 4 success is . . . not peeing in your pants.

At age 12 success is . . . having friends.

At age 17 success is . . . having a driver's license.

At age 35 success is . . . having friends.

At age 50 success is . . . having money.

At age 70 success is . .. having a driver license.

At age 75 success is . . . having friends.

At age 80 success is . . . not peeing in your pants.

Just ONE Big Cycle isn't it?

[lewpopp]

I'm sure you are not speaking from experience, but you sure are ( hate to use this word ) dead on, just ask Harry.

[hhoppe]

Dammit Lew I resemble that remark. You got your nerve spouting off with one foot in the grave and the other on a bananna peel.

[dalej]

Ok you two, clean it up, pun intended.

[Gary & Peggy Stevens]

Last Tuesday President Obama got off the helicopter in front of the White House carrying a baby piglet under each arm.

The squared-away Marine guard snapped to attention, saluted, and said,

"Nice pigs, sir."

The President replied, "These are not pigs. These are authentic Arkansas razorbacks. I got one for Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid, and I got one for Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi."

The squared-away Marine again snapped to attention, saluted, and said,

"Excellent trade, sir."

[JIM CHALOUPKA]

An attractive blonde from Cork , Ireland arrived at the casino. She seemed a little intoxicated and bet twenty-thousand dollars on a single roll of the dice.

She said, 'I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I'm completely nude.'

With that, she stripped from the neck down, rolled the dice and with an Irish brogue yelled, 'Come on, baby, Mama needs new clothes!'

As the dice came to a stop, she jumped up and down and squealed...'YES! YES! I WON, I WON !'

She hugged each of the dealers and then picked up her winnings and her clothes and quickly departed.

The dealers stared at each other dumbfounded.
Finally, one of them asked, 'What did she roll?'

The other answered, 'I don't know - I thought you were watching.'

MORAL OF THE STORY -

Not all Irish are drunks,
not all blondes are dumb,
.......but all men...are men.