Retired People

[sawdust_128]

The next time someone asks you a dumb question wouldn't you like to respond like this? ...


Yesterday I was at Wal-Mart buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet Sheriff the Wonder Dog and was in the checkout line when woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

What did she think I had, an elephant? So since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that
it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.)

Horrifi ed, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's ass and a car hit us both.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard. Wal-Mart won't let me shop there anymore.

Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the world to think of crazy things to say.

[tdelorme]

What a great story. Well done SD, you will do. We'll all email WalMart and see if we can get your privileges reinstated.

Does that diet work even if I'n not retired yet?

[Alek&Lucia]

SD,

You are soo funny now, can't wait what will happen when you have a PREVOST

[sawdust_128]

What a great story. Well done SD, you will do. We'll all email WalMart and see if we can get your privileges reinstated.

Does that diet work even if I'n not retired yet?

ABSOLUTELY!!

You may well be wasting your time. That is probably my most minor transgression at the Big W. But thanks for the kind thought and support.

[sawdust_128]

SD,

You are soo funny now, can't wait what will happen when you have a PREVOST

Maybe you should read my signature again. With that, how do you like the H3? Do you think that I could test drive it some time??

[jonnie]

SD,

Outstandinjg!

[Jon Wehrenberg]

Planning on any seminars Sawdust?

My SS kicked in and I have changed my entire wardrobe to stripes and plaids. I have learned to ask people to repeat what they said, I am developing an impressive array of stories about my medical problems, and I now drive 10 MPH below the speed limit (in the fast lane).

Now I just need lessons on things to say that old farts can get away with.

[sawdust_128]

Planning on any seminars Sawdust?

My SS kicked in and I have changed my entire wardrobe to stripes and plaids. I have learned to ask people to repeat what they said, I am developing an impressive array of stories about my medical problems, and I now drive 10 MPH below the speed limit (in the fast lane).

Now I just need lessons on things to say that old farts can get away with.

WHAT!!!????? No sandles and black socks?? What do you do for formal occasions?

Medical stories??? Amatuer -- you need pictures. Get with digital already!!
10 MPH below speed limit - please, put the RH blinker on already!! And keep it on always.

No matter what or where, insist on speaking to the manager about an AARP discount.

....lessons on things to say that old farts can get away with. Silly boy, what makes you think that there are any limits? Any way, here are Ed's rules for Happy Life:

1. Don't sweat the small stuff.
2. It's all small stuff.
3. You can't change rules 1 and 2.
4 Unless you absolutely have to, don't do it with your money.
5. This one is implicit, Don't get arrested.



Enjoy!!

[sawdust_128]

Planning on any seminars Sawdust?

My SS kicked in and I have changed my entire wardrobe to stripes and plaids. I have learned to ask people to repeat what they said, I am developing an impressive array of stories about my medical problems, and I now drive 10 MPH below the speed limit (in the fast lane).

Now I just need lessons on things to say that old farts can get away with.

Here's something from the manual on being an old fart. You might want a couple for in front of your house and maybe a couple portable units to place in front of the coach.

[Jon Wehrenberg]

You know you are a geezer when you drive 62.5 mph.

I just replaced my speedometer and I can calibrate it to read anything I want at any speed I want. So now it reads 75 when I am doing 62.5.