PDA

View Full Version : Everybody Needs a Good Laugh



Gary & Peggy Stevens
12-16-2006, 05:52 PM
:D
"Random Thoughts" :confused:

1. There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count and those who can't.

2. Why is "abbreviation" such a long word?

3. Don't use a big word where a diminutive one will suffice.

4. Every morning is the dawn of a new error . . .

5. A flying saucer results when a nudist spills his coffee.

6. For people who like peace and quiet: a phoneless cord.

7. I can see clearly now, the brain is gone . . .

8. The beatings will continue until morale improves.

9. I used up all my sick days, so I'm calling in dead.

10. Mental Floss prevents Moral Decay.

11. Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change.

12. Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.

13. There cannot be a crisis today; my schedule is already full.

14. I'd explain it to you, but your brain would explode.

15. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

16. A conclusion is simply the place where you got tired of thinking.

17. I don't have a solution, but I admire the problem.

18. Don't be so open-minded your brains fall out.

19. If at first you DO succeed, try not to look astonished!

20. Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie!'. . .
till you can find a rock.

21. Diplomacy - the art of letting someone have your way.

22. If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?

23. If things get any worse, I'll have to ask you to stop helping me.

24. If I want your opinion, I'll ask you to fill out the necessary forms.

25. Don't look back, they might be gaining on you.

26. It's not hard to meet expenses, they're everywhere.

27. Help Wanted: Telepath. You know where to apply.

28. Look out for #1. Don't step in #2.

29. Budget: A method for going broke methodically.

30. Car service: If it ain't broke, we'll break it.

31. Shin: A device for finding furniture in the dark.

32. Do witches run spell checkers?

33. Demons are a Ghouls best friend.

34. Copywight 2006 Elmer Fudd. All wights wesewved.

35. Dain Bramaged.

36. Department of Redundancy Department.

37. Headline: Bear takes over Disneyland in Pooh D'Etat.

38. What has four legs and an arm? A happy pit bull.

dalej
12-16-2006, 07:14 PM
Also for you to always have complete access to this forum you should calibrate your mouse every month or so. To do so click on the Y and drag it over to the Z


Y You will try anything that someone tells you to, you dummy! Z

Budman
12-16-2006, 07:56 PM
Those of us from Alabama, Georgia, North and South Carolina, Virginia, West Virginia And Kentucky would no longer wished to be called Redneck or Hillbilly. Please consider us as Appalachain Americans.

Toy Box
12-16-2006, 08:05 PM
As well as those of us from Florida, we prefer Cracker=Americans.

MangoMike
12-16-2006, 08:16 PM
Hey,

First post by Budman. Welcome, glad you're joining us.

Mike

Jon Wehrenberg
12-16-2006, 09:35 PM
Hi Budman....welcome to the asylum.

Remember, we ain't happy til you ain't happy.

rfoster
12-16-2006, 09:59 PM
Budman: Welcome to the funny pages, glad to have an official of Mayberry, USA. .

lewpopp
12-16-2006, 10:26 PM
NEWS FLASH !!!!

JUST FOUND OUT THAT TOOTHPASTE WAS INVENTED IN TENNESSEE.

IF IT WAS INVENTED ANYWHERE ELSE IT WOULD BE CALLED TEETHPASTE.

LEW:p

Gary & Peggy Stevens
12-18-2006, 07:14 PM
For those of you that haven't gone to Prevost-Stuff.com, in a couple of days, you have got to read this guys Prevost Christmas Story. You may have seen it before, but for me, it really made my Season Bright

He actually calls it a "Really Bad Holiday Story, Kind of ? " :D It is hilarious. :D

http://www.prevost-stuff.com./coaches/bad-airport.htm

Hope to meet the author in person some day, and shake his hand.:)

Gary

rmboies
12-18-2006, 09:02 PM
http://www.prevost-stuff.com./coaches/bad-airport.htm
Hope to meet the author in person some day, and shake his hand.:)
Gary

Gary,

Isn't that a great story?? Bob and I had the pleasure of hearing this story first hand from Jeff, the author:-) I hope you get to meet Jeff and Helen in person one day as well--I am proud to call them friends they are a wonderful people.

matsprt
12-18-2006, 11:50 PM
Jeff,
Read your story with interest. I almost did that same thing in Seattle. Scary that there may be two of us out there.

But I did do something a little more unsettling. I'm new at this MH thing. DW was originally dead set against getting a MH. Too young she said. Wait until I retire, but she knows I'll never retire, ain't in my blood.

So I go buy one anyway just to try out. No big deal as I can use it for business. So she decides we will try one shakedown cruise to Pechanga here in So Cal. Rains all weekend (late November). Then decides we "need" to go to Big Bear day after Christmas so our daughter can learn to snowboard. Boyfirend will teach her. Big storm forcast for that week but hey we all know it never rains/snows in So Cal. Off we go to clear skies and get settled in. Storm hits later that night. About 1:35 am...crash...

609

And in the morning we have firewood....across the roof...

Not to worry they will come out and cut it for you, free of charge...

610

No one was hurt, and the roof stress test for a CC was complete. Only took out the front AC unit. What a way to start our MH experience. It has gotten better and DW found she loves this life. Bus ownership should be a walk in the park after my plastic coach start.

Michael

Gary & Peggy Stevens
01-18-2007, 11:00 AM
This has got to be one of the funniest monologues. :D Hope everyone enjoys it.

http://video.google.com/url?vidurl=http%3A%2F%2Fvideo.google.com%2Fvideopl ay%3Fdocid%3D2680363873910583146%26q%3Ddean%2Bmart in%26hl%3Den&docid=2680363873910583146&ev=v&esrc=sr8&usg=AL29H22_BlBZaHK822tAAYLJHbgBLhr3sQ


After the Dean Martin / Foster Brooks monologue, ignore the next sequence, not sure where that came from? :confused: But the first monologue is worth watching.

gary

dalej
01-27-2007, 06:25 PM
Thought you might like this one....

1. While sitting at your desk, lift your right foot off the floor
and make clockwise circles with it.

2. Now, while doing this, draw the number "6" in the air with your
right hand.. Your foot will change direction!!!

And I don't want Jon to reply and say it's easy! ;)

Gary & Peggy Stevens
01-27-2007, 10:11 PM
Thought you might like this one....

1. While sitting at your desk, lift your right foot off the floor
and make clockwise circles with it.

2. Now, while doing this, draw the number "6" in the air with your
right hand.. Your foot will change direction!!!

And I don't want Jon to reply and say it's easy! ;)

Now how the hell did you do that ? I tried it several times, with the same outcome.

dislexick I am not?

lewpopp
01-27-2007, 10:17 PM
Here at the mini-rally at TGO we were trying it and Jon was the best there was. He was doing so well he went in to a rap music dance and we had a hell of a job calming him down.

He said to just think of "WAX ON, WAX OFF"

lewpopp
01-28-2007, 10:31 PM
Jon is getting antsy to get on the forum and stick up for himself. He was asking this evening for the use of a computer.

Whatever he posts, he'll blame it on the wrong person whatever he talks about.

Just Plain Jeff
01-30-2007, 04:16 PM
Last Jon sighting was: He was on a bicycle headed for the sales lot to look at Monaco's. He was going to do the, "Aw shucks, never saw campers like this before!"

This man is on some kind of a mission.

rfoster
02-01-2007, 10:34 PM
As many of you may know Liberty Coach is in the process of there Annual Open House Rally in Stuart, florida. Liberty's own Carolyn Konsigdner (sp) has hand picked two POG members to Judge a Mardi Gras Contest ( I dont know what that is yet). I thought you would get a chuckle out of this photo and since I am posting would offer me immunity to any misleading characterizations that may come to mind. As you can see Carolyn has us by our Bling Ball. We were Chosen to Judge cause we will take a bride at the drop of my hat!
866

Gary & Peggy Stevens
02-02-2007, 12:43 PM
THE ABILITY TO MAKE AND UNDERSTAND PUNS IS THE HIGHEST LEVEL OF LANGUAGE DEVELOPMENT.

Here are the ten first place winners in the International Pun Contest:

1. A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at him and says, "I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger."

2. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says "Dam!"

3. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.

4. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says "I've lost my electron." The other says "Are you sure?" The first replies "Yes, I'm positive."

5. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.

6. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?", they asked, as they moved off.
"Because," he said," I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer."

7. A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption.

One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him "Juan. " Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."

8. A group of friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they opened up a small florist shop to raise funds. Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of God, a rival florist across town thought the competition was unfair. He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not. He went back and begged the friars to close. They ignored him. So, the rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious thug in town to "persuade" them to close.

Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their store, saying he'd be back if they didn't close up shop.

Terrified, they did so, thereby proving that Only Hugh can prevent florist friars.

9. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and, with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

10. And finally, there was the person ( me ) who sent ten different puns to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.

Gary & Peggy Stevens
02-02-2007, 12:44 PM
Since I don't have a bus I can talk about or get fixed, or complain about not getting fixed, I have no choice but to send jokes. :confused:

I need a bus ! :eek:

Gary S

garyde
02-02-2007, 09:46 PM
Hi Gary. From one Racketball player to another... good luck on your Bus. I have a freind down your way at Buddy Gregg Motors. Kent Lawrence. Give him a call and see if he can find you what you have in mind. He Sales several different Conversions, primarily Country Coach but he has contacts all over the country. Gary