phorner
07-12-2009, 02:46 PM
Anyone who has ever had the misfortune to own/operate/restore a British sports car will appreciate this explanation of electrical theory:
'ELECTRICAL THEORY BY JOSEPH LUCAS'
Positive ground depends on proper circuit functioning, which is the
transmission of negative ions by retention of the visible spectral
manifestation known as "smoke"..
Smoke is the thing that makes electrical circuits work. We know this to be
true because every time one lets the smoke out of an electrical circuit, it
stops working. This can be verified repeatedly through empirical testing.
For example, if one places a copper bar across the terminals of a battery,
prodigious quantities of smoke are liberated and the battery shortly ceases
to function.
In addition, if one observes smoke escaping from an electrical
component such as a Lucas voltage regulator, it will also be observed that
the component no longer functions. The logic is elementary and inescapable!
The function of the wiring harness is to conduct the smoke from one device
to another. When the wiring springs a leak and lets all the smoke out of the
system, nothing works afterward.
Starter motors were considered unsuitable for British motorcycles for some
time largely because they consumed large quantities of smoke, requiring very
unsightly large wires.
It has been reported that Lucas electrical components are possibly more
prone to electrical leakage than their Bosch, Japanese or American counterparts.
Experts point out that this is because Lucas is British, and
all things British leak. British engines leak oil, British shock absorbers,
hydraulic forks and disk brake systems leak fluid, British tires leak air
and British Intelligence leaks national defense secrets.
Therefore, it follows that British electrical systems must leak smoke. Once
again, the logic is clear and inescapable.
In conclusion, the basic concept of transmission of electrical energy in the
form of smoke provides a logical explanation of the mysteries of electrical
components - especially British units manufactured by Joseph Lucas, Ltd.
And remember: "A gentleman does not motor about after dark." Joseph Lucas
(1842-1903)
'ELECTRICAL THEORY BY JOSEPH LUCAS'
Positive ground depends on proper circuit functioning, which is the
transmission of negative ions by retention of the visible spectral
manifestation known as "smoke"..
Smoke is the thing that makes electrical circuits work. We know this to be
true because every time one lets the smoke out of an electrical circuit, it
stops working. This can be verified repeatedly through empirical testing.
For example, if one places a copper bar across the terminals of a battery,
prodigious quantities of smoke are liberated and the battery shortly ceases
to function.
In addition, if one observes smoke escaping from an electrical
component such as a Lucas voltage regulator, it will also be observed that
the component no longer functions. The logic is elementary and inescapable!
The function of the wiring harness is to conduct the smoke from one device
to another. When the wiring springs a leak and lets all the smoke out of the
system, nothing works afterward.
Starter motors were considered unsuitable for British motorcycles for some
time largely because they consumed large quantities of smoke, requiring very
unsightly large wires.
It has been reported that Lucas electrical components are possibly more
prone to electrical leakage than their Bosch, Japanese or American counterparts.
Experts point out that this is because Lucas is British, and
all things British leak. British engines leak oil, British shock absorbers,
hydraulic forks and disk brake systems leak fluid, British tires leak air
and British Intelligence leaks national defense secrets.
Therefore, it follows that British electrical systems must leak smoke. Once
again, the logic is clear and inescapable.
In conclusion, the basic concept of transmission of electrical energy in the
form of smoke provides a logical explanation of the mysteries of electrical
components - especially British units manufactured by Joseph Lucas, Ltd.
And remember: "A gentleman does not motor about after dark." Joseph Lucas
(1842-1903)