Our Speed

[Just Plain Jeff]

since we are poor, out of work simple people, we will be happy to settle for something like this for bling:

http://www.dutchovencookware.com/hibachi-grill.jpg

[pognumber26]

Where do I purchase this unit?

[Just Plain Jeff]

There are some things one cannot, 'buy.'

Bling or simple.

You have to earn them!

See you at POG II!

[Jon Wehrenberg]

Now I am concerned. JPJ is starting with the "aw shucks we are simple people" stuff. I see the potential here for reverse bling.

He realizes his Vogue/Parliament can't match our Libertys so he will approach the contest from another direction. The motor will be replaced with a team of oxen, the bath will be a large copper tub (also used for laundry), and in keeping with the "aw shucks" theme the generator will be replaced with a windmill.

What I can't figure is what Pog 26.5 with his quadruple slide 75 foot megabuck palace would want with such a crude device. It is not rated for 24Volt and it doesn't have a paint job to match his palace.

[Just Plain Jeff]

http://www.waynet.org/waynet/spotlight/2005/images/09/buggy-sign.jpg

Maybe there is more than one way of defining Bling.

[rfoster]

Attention All Hands:

While on my way to Knoxville this am, I phoned All knowing -full of useful knowledge, King of Bling, always helpful Anal Jon and ask him for info on Chrome or Blling Shops in Knoxville,
Well - just as I suspected- he didn't reveal any information - played me like a fiddle. acted like he was caught off guard - imagine that.
Being fore warned is being fore armed.
Jon has the bling thing going on and ain't telling.
This is gonna be a tough competition- I don't think the LEDs are gonna git-r-dun alone...
and then JPJ comes in with a security breach notice - Knoxville is close to Oak Ridge- those folks used to know how to keep a secret. Some still do.
It is on!
Roger that co pilots

[Just Plain Jeff]

http://www.gc.maricopa.edu/business/sylvester/cis105/old-computer.jpg

Roger, Roger:

I think it is more show than go. Jon has yet to figure out how to incorporate the telescope into his computer.

Yet, if he is near Oak Ridge and traveling to Los Alamos, who knows what is in store?

EOM

[Jon Wehrenberg]

Roger,

(he is my buddy, my friend, the guy that will give me a new M3) you are too kind. What you failed to mention is how you blindsided me and got me good.

At this point, my friend from Tennessee everyone is in a dither worrying about me, and probably going off the deep end to try to outbling our Liberty cruisers. If you don't tell anybody I will reveal my secret bling:

I am going to vacuum the floor, and maybe do a little dusting.

That's it.

Well maybe there is a little more, but it isn't enough to talk about.

Jon

[Jerry Winchester]

I'm afraid that if he is from Oak Ridge and he travels to Los Alamos, his bling will be that the entire coach glows in the dark and we will need Geiger counters to test for bling-e-ness.

[lewpopp]

From where I stand, Jon is the foxy one and he will stand back and let all of you guys put fox tails, curb feelers, and spot lights on your unit and sit there an laugh all the way to the bank with his Lew Bucks.

I'm willing to bet he won't do a damn thing concerning bling. He is an engineer. Engineers are parcimonious all fo the time. The tightest people on earth are engineers, FBI Agents, and pilots. Jon fills 2 out of 3 catagories. I will say, he was more than generous at the POG 1. Where he is frugal is spending good Lew Bucks on chitty chrome and bling. If it is not in the engineers mind that it will improve movement, the hell with it.

DON'T WORRY ABOUT MR JON, believe me.:p

[rfoster]

JW: Thats it - he going to smoke our piddly 12v LEDs with nuclear powered bus - that will certainly make him the King of Bling and Glow. Where do you get a Geiger Counter? The higher the score the more Wow!.

[Jerry Winchester]

People who work in the fields of science and technology are not like other people. This can be frustrating to the nontechnical people who have to deal with them. The secret to coping with technology-oriented people is to understand their motivations. This chapter will teach you everything you need to know. I learned their customs and mannerisms by observing them, much the way Jane Goodall learned about the great apes, but without the hassle of grooming. Engineering is so trendy these days that everybody wants to be one. The word "engineer" is greatly overused. If there's somebody in your life who you think is trying to pass as an engineer, give him this test to discern the truth.

ENGINEER IDENTIFICATION TEST
You walk into a room and notice that a picture is hanging crooked. You...

· Straighten it.
· Ignore it.
· Buy a CAD system and spend the next six months designing a solar-powered, self-adjusting picture frame while often stating aloud your belief that the inventor of the nail was a total moron.

The correct answer is "C" but partial credit can be given to anybody who writes "It depends" in the margin of the test or simply blames the whole stupid thing on "Marketing."

SOCIAL SKILLS
Engineers have different objectives when it comes to social interaction. "Normal" people expect to accomplish several unrealistic things from social interaction:

· Stimulating and thought-provoking conversation
· Important social contacts
· A feeling of connectedness with other humans
In contrast to "normal" people, engineers have rational objectives for social interactions:
· Get it over with as soon as possible.
· Avoid getting invited to something unpleasant.
· Demonstrate mental superiority and mastery of all subjects.

FASCINATION WITH GADGETS
To the engineer, all matter in the universe can be placed into one of two categories:

· Things that need to be fixed, and
· Things that will need to be fixed after you've had a few minutes to play with them.

Engineers like to solve problems. If there are no problems handily available, they will create their own problems. No engineer looks at a television remote control without wondering what it would take to turn it into a stun gun. No engineer can take a shower without wondering if some sort of Teflon coating would make showering unnecessary. To the engineer, the world is a toy box full of sub-optimized and feature-poor toys.

FASHION AND APPEARANCE
Clothes are the lowest priority for an engineer, assuming the basic thresholds for temperature and decency have been satisfied. If no appendages are freezing or sticking together, and if no genitalia or mammary glands are swinging around in plain view, then the objective of clothing has been met. Anything else is a waste.

LOVE OF "STAR TREK"
Engineers love all of the Star Trek television shows and movies. It's a small wonder, since the engineers on the starship Enterprise are portrayed as heroes, occasionally even having sex with aliens. This is much more glamorous than the real life of an engineer, which consists of hiding from the universe and having no emotional ties to other life forms.

DATING AND SOCIAL LIFE
Dating is never easy for engineers. A normal person will employ various indirect and duplicitous methods to create a false impression of attractiveness. Engineers are incapable of placing appearance above function. Fortunately, engineers have an ace in the hole. They are widely recognized as superior marriage material: intelligent, dependable, employed, honest, and handy around the house. While it's true that many normal people would prefer not to date an engineer, most normal people harbor an intense desire to mate with them, thus producing engineer-like children who will have high-paying jobs long before losing their virginity. Male engineers reach their peak of sexual attractiveness later than normal men, becoming irresistible erotic dynamos in their mid thirties to late forties. Just look at these examples of sexually irresistible men in technical professions:

· Bill Gates.
· MacGyver.
· et cetera.

Female engineers become irresistible at the age of consent and remain that way until about thirty minutes after their clinical death. Longer if it's a warm day.

HONESTY
Engineers are always honest in matters of technology and human relationships. That's why it's a good idea to keep engineers away from customers, romantic interests, and other people who can't handle the truth.

Engineers sometimes bend the truth to avoid work. They say things that sound like lies but technically are not because nobody could be expected to believe them. The complete list of engineer lies is listed below.

· "I won't change anything without asking you first."
· "I'll return your hard-to-find cable tomorrow."
· "I have to have new equipment to do my job."
· "I'm not jealous of your new computer."

FRUGALITY
Engineers are notoriously frugal. This is not because of cheapness or mean spirit; it is simply because every spending situation is simply a problem in optimization, that is, "How can I escape this situation while retaining the greatest amount of cash?"

POWERS OF CONCENTRATION
If there is one trait that best defines an engineer it is the ability to concentrate on one subject to the complete exclusion of everything else in the environment. This sometimes causes engineers to be pronounced dead prematurely. Some funeral homes in high-tech areas have started checking resumes before processing the bodies. Anybody with a degree in electrical engineering or experience in computer programming is propped up in the lounge for a few days just to see if he or she snaps out of it.

RISK
Engineers hate risk. They try to eliminate it whenever they can. This is understandable, given that when an engineer makes one little mistake, the media will treat it like it's a big deal or something.

Examples of bad press for engineers

· Hindenberg.
· Space Shuttle Challenger.
· SPANet(tm)
· Hubble space telescope.
· Apollo 13.
· Titanic.
· Ford Pinto.
· Corvair.

The risk/reward calculation for engineers looks something like this:

· RISK: Public humiliation and the death of thousands of innocent people.
· REWARD: A certificate of appreciation in a handsome plastic frame.

Being practical people, engineers evaluate this balance of risks and rewards and decide that risk is not a good thing. The best way to avoid risk is by advising that any activity is technically impossible for reasons that are far too complicated to explain. If that approach is not sufficient to halt a project, then the engineer will fall back to a second line of defense: "It's technically possible but it will cost too much."

EGO
Ego-wise, two things are important to engineers:

· How smart they are.
· How many cool devices they own.

The fastest way to get an engineer to solve a problem is to declare that the problem is unsolvable. No engineer can walk away from an unsolvable problem until it's solved. No illness or distraction is sufficient to get the engineer off the case. These types of challenges quickly become a personal battle between the engineer and the laws of nature. Engineers will go without food and hygiene for days to solve a problem.(Other times just because they forgot.) And when they succeed in solving the problem they will experience an ego rush that is better than sex--and I'm including the kind of sex where other people are involved.

Nothing is more threatening to the engineer than the suggestion that somebody has more technical skill. Normal people sometimes use that knowledge as a lever to extract more work from the engineer. When an engineer says that something can't be done (a code phrase that means it's not fun to do), some clever normal people have learned to glance at the engineer with a look of compassion and pity and say something along these lines: "I'll ask Bob to figure it out. He knows how to solve difficult technical problems." At that point it is a good idea for the normal person to not stand between the engineer and the problem. The engineer will set upon the problem like a starved Chihuahua on a pork chop.

[Just Plain Jeff]

http://shaverexpress.com/shavingclose.gif



It is a terrible thing to see an older gentleman like Jon demean himself in public just to get an M3 electric razor. It's a terrible thing to have to witness.

[Jon Wehrenberg]

Good try guys. Roger knows the M3 is a beemer.

And Jerry,

You have way too much time on your hands.

Who among this bunch of clowns is an engineer?

[Just Plain Jeff]

Up here near Northern Command, BMW stands for

Big Maine Woman.

Shade in the summer, warmth in the winter.

EOM

[lewpopp]

It's been a while since I'v read something as truthful and humorus as what you submitted about engineers. How true, how true!!!

[Just Plain Jeff]

OK, Mr. Puzzlemeister, do yer thing:

http://www.math.udel.edu/~mbrook/brookart/images/Crossword%20Puzzle.jpg