sawdust_128
06-10-2008, 05:03 PM
WHEN INSULTS HAD CLASS
"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary."
-- William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)
"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it."
-- Groucho Marx
"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it."
-- Mark Twain
"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends."
-- Oscar Wilde
"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend.. . . If you have one."
-- George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill
. . . followed by
Churchill's response: "Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second, if there is one."
-- Winston Churchill
"I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here."
-- Stephen Bishop
"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure."
-- Clarence Darrow
"He is a self-made man and worships his creator."
-- John Bright
"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial."
-- Irvin S. Cobb
"He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others."
-- Samuel Johnson
"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up."
-- Paul Keating
"He had delusions of adequacy."
-- Walter Kerr
"Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?"
-- Mark Twain
"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork."
-- Mae West
"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go."
-- Oscar Wilde
Lady Astor once remarked to Winston Churchill at a Dinner Party, "Winston, if you were my husband, I would poison your coffee!"
Winston replied, "Madam if I were your husband, I would drink it!"
Lady Astor looked at Churchill and said, "Sir, you are drunk!"
He replied, "And Madam, you are ugly. At least in the morning I'll be sober."
"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary."
-- William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)
"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it."
-- Groucho Marx
"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it."
-- Mark Twain
"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends."
-- Oscar Wilde
"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend.. . . If you have one."
-- George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill
. . . followed by
Churchill's response: "Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second, if there is one."
-- Winston Churchill
"I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here."
-- Stephen Bishop
"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure."
-- Clarence Darrow
"He is a self-made man and worships his creator."
-- John Bright
"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial."
-- Irvin S. Cobb
"He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others."
-- Samuel Johnson
"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up."
-- Paul Keating
"He had delusions of adequacy."
-- Walter Kerr
"Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?"
-- Mark Twain
"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork."
-- Mae West
"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go."
-- Oscar Wilde
Lady Astor once remarked to Winston Churchill at a Dinner Party, "Winston, if you were my husband, I would poison your coffee!"
Winston replied, "Madam if I were your husband, I would drink it!"
Lady Astor looked at Churchill and said, "Sir, you are drunk!"
He replied, "And Madam, you are ugly. At least in the morning I'll be sober."